I feel miserable today. Do I feel like writing and sharing now? No, not at all. Headache, cramps, my body under tension. I try to feel where it comes from, but a real answer does not come yet. My system wants to fight it, but that only makes it worse. So I try to be kind to myself and embrace it. Just do the things I had planned for myself today, just work, but then from bed. I try to accept it, but in such cases the fear of disapproval comes up again.
It is a beautiful learning process for me, because where I can let go of the struggle in many areas and remain in love. In this area I cannot really accept it for myself yet. Drive to perform and not wanting to disappoint anyone. But do I really see myself at such moments? I don't think so.
In my own journey I also find it important to share this, because it is part of it. For now I will leave it at that, because I do not have any further answers. In the end I am the one who makes the decisions here and it is up to me to do something with it, or not. The sun can not always shine, but you do have influence on what you do in the rain.
