{"id":609,"date":"2021-06-29T13:17:07","date_gmt":"2021-06-29T12:17:07","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.brianvanleeuwen.com\/?p=609"},"modified":"2021-06-29T13:17:37","modified_gmt":"2021-06-29T12:17:37","slug":"hoe-een-beschermingsmechanisme-ontstaat","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.brianvanleeuwen.com\/en\/hoe-een-beschermingsmechanisme-ontstaat\/","title":{"rendered":"How a protection mechanism is created"},"content":{"rendered":"

\ud83e\udd75I'm so done with this \ud83e\udd75<\/h2>\n

Primary school was already an interesting period for me. When I look back on it, I mainly experience that I felt misunderstood. I already felt different then. Somewhere I also felt that I had something to do here on earth, although that was really not in my consciousness at the time. I always talked about becoming rich and living in abundance. I felt a strong connection with animals and I also wanted to work with animals. Inside I was super vulnerable and sensitive, but as a child you quickly experience that this world does not work that way. At least not then. Groups are formed. The boys act tough and one tries to act tougher than the other. I myself was in between. I was also sometimes bullied by the boys from a higher group. I was an easy target as a vulnerable, sensitive boy. In addition, I am an only child with a mother who does everything for her son and only saw and still sees the best in him. A mama's boy was also called that at primary school. That did not help at school. Are you going to get your mother involved again? Can't you handle it alone? What a wimp you are. I remember a remark from Thijs (this is not the real name of this person due to integrity:) back in primary school. I had arranged to meet another boy after school and played together, as we called it when we were young. Thijs didn't like that very much, because Thijs was also friends with that boy. You're not going to play with Brian, are you? That remark haunted me for years.\"Hoe<\/p>\n

At some point I was done with such remarks. I was completely done with the bullying. I was in the seventh grade by then. I had found the ideal way to make sure the bullying would stop. I was going to do it back. A first protection mechanism was formed. If someone hurts you, you hurt them even harder. I saw that this worked and it created another layer around the sensitive boy. That way I at least didn't have to feel the pain anymore. Then I started to bite back when I was bullied or when I felt threatened. I came back with verbal violence and I started to hit back.<\/p>\n

At that moment it seems like the solution, but if you are not aware of it, you can carry these types of mechanisms with you for the rest of your life. It can cause serious damage, I can tell you from my own experience. That is why I am such a fan of regression therapy. Through hypnosis back to childhood to relive and heal the trauma there.<\/p>\n

Aho \ud83d\udc9a\ud83e\udda6<\/strong><\/p>\n

(the above text is from my first book The Secret of the Living God, which is expected to be published in late 2021\/early 2022)<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Go back to all blogs here<\/em><\/strong><\/a><\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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