{"id":598,"date":"2021-06-06T13:21:10","date_gmt":"2021-06-06T12:21:10","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.brianvanleeuwen.com\/?p=598"},"modified":"2021-06-11T13:29:17","modified_gmt":"2021-06-11T12:29:17","slug":"het-had-zomaar-anders-kunnen-aflopen","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.brianvanleeuwen.com\/en\/het-had-zomaar-anders-kunnen-aflopen\/","title":{"rendered":"It could have ended differently"},"content":{"rendered":"

It could have ended differently\u2026 years of manipulating, lying, numbing and fleeing. Years of partying. What started as a fantastic party ended in me completely losing myself. I sank deeper and deeper, I shut myself off from others and lost myself in drinking and drug use. Completely closed off from who I really was.. I was in so much pain, sorrow and fear. In the end I couldn\u2019t even stand at a party without being completely afraid and always afraid that I would fall away. Then it was over..\"Het<\/p>\n

It's time to tell the story<\/h2>\n

Now it's time to tell the story behind this. In some ways I still find it a bit scary, because this also means that I'm going to expose myself completely. Also to family, friends and others who are close to me. But I promise you that I won't hold anything back and will be completely honest. Even if it wasn't so nice. And I certainly won't hold back from taking the beautiful moments with me, because god did I laugh a lot.<\/p>\n

Tomorrow I will start this new journey during a writing week here in the Netherlands. Writing a story of a boy who completely lost himself in partying, drinking and drugs, relationships, work and friends. Now I am full of love and I am increasingly confident and surrendered to life. In a year and a half I have been able to completely turn my life around, I work at a fantastic organization, I work with a beautiful man, I have a new love, what a beautiful soft woman, I live at Terra Nova and I see a future for me full of love, humor, connection and I am completely ready for it. Ready to live. Ready to walk my path. Ready to embody my mission in its entirety. But it could have ended differently\u2026<\/p>\n

And even if it is only for my healing process. Then the story is already a success. If I can help other young people and festival-goers with it, then that is only a bonus. I have not been doing it for the money for a long time, which I still did partly half a year ago. My motivation is different... my motivation is freedom, consciousness expansion and healing. Not only for me, but also for the earth and everyone who is open to it.<\/p>\n

Aho \ud83d\udc3a\ud83d\udc9a<\/strong><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Go back to all blogs here<\/em><\/strong><\/a><\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It could have ended differently\u2026 years of manipulating, lying, numbing and fleeing. Years of partying. What started as a fantastic party ended in the [\u2026]<\/span><\/p>","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":599,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-598","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-blog"],"yoast_head":"\nHet had zomaar anders kunnen aflopen - Brian van Leeuwen<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Het had zo maar anders kunnen aflopen... jarenlang gedrag van manipuleren, liegen, verdoven en vluchten. Jarenlang feesten. 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