{"id":5206,"date":"2024-04-06T13:13:47","date_gmt":"2024-04-06T11:13:47","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.brianvanleeuwen.com\/?p=5206"},"modified":"2024-04-12T20:03:53","modified_gmt":"2024-04-12T18:03:53","slug":"ik-zocht-afleiding-na-afleiding","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.brianvanleeuwen.com\/en\/ik-zocht-afleiding-na-afleiding\/","title":{"rendered":"I sought distraction after distraction"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n\t\t\t\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t

<\/p>\n

\n
\n
\n

Not even an hour later I was sitting with my nose in the powder, smoking a cigarette, there was booze on the table and I was filling the night with porn. I was looking for distraction after distraction. Anything to numb the pain. I kept checking my phone to see if Marit had sent anything back. <\/strong><\/p>\n

And every time I got that slap in my face again. It hurt.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

\n
\n

Because of all the stimulants in my blood I obviously didn't sleep at all. As a result I felt even worse the next day. I quickly decided to call the dealer again. I didn't have the energy to make healthy vegetarian food, so I quickly ended up with a greasy D\u00f6ner sandwich in my mouth. I was using and numbing all Tuesday. Alternating between snorting, drinking with series and watching porn. Scrolling through social media, playing games on my mobile.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

\n
\n

On Wednesday it happened again. On Thursday it continued. Ties did notice it, but he thought: he's processing. I'll leave him for a while. At night I ended up in a completely different dimension because of all the drugs. Especially because of the combination of all the different drugs and the use of 3MMC. As I said before, with the right dosage you start hallucinating a lot. That resulted in me ending up in countries of shamans. That I ended up in the worlds of Vikings. That I was just sitting somewhere in the wall of a street; I could see people walking, while they couldn't see me. I could go anywhere, but I had no control over it.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

\n
\n

My escape behavior became more interesting there. I entered other worlds. I was simply not on earth anymore. It all came to me and I enjoyed it. I didn't need to be on earth. As long as I didn't have to feel the pain. I smoked like a chimney.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

\n
\n

As expected, I started feeling worse every day. I got more anxious. I was afraid my heart would stop. I got panic attacks. Especially when the alcohol and drugs were gone\u2026<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

\n
\n

A piece from \u201cIt could have ended differently\u201d. A journey that ultimately leads to awakening and coming home to yourself.<\/p>\n

You can get the book here<\/a><\/strong> order.<\/span> <\/span><\/p><\/div><\/div>\n

\n
\n

Together we create heaven on earth,<\/p>\n

Love,<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

Brian<\/p>\n

Go back to all blogs here<\/b><\/em><\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

 <\/div>\n
\n
\n
 <\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
 <\/div>\n
 <\/div>\n
 <\/div>\n
 <\/div>\n
 <\/div>\n
 <\/div>\n
 <\/div>\n
 <\/div>\n
 <\/div>\n
 <\/div>\n
 <\/div>\n

<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t

\n\t\t\t\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\n
<\/div>\n\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Not even an hour later I was sitting with my nose in the powder, smoking a cigarette, there was a drink on the table and I was filling [\u2026]<\/span><\/p>","protected":false},"author":217,"featured_media":5216,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5206","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-blog"],"yoast_head":"\nIk zocht afleiding na afleiding - Brian van Leeuwen<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.brianvanleeuwen.com\/en\/ik-zocht-afleiding-na-afleiding\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Ik zocht afleiding na afleiding - Brian van Leeuwen\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Nog geen uur later zat ik met mijn neus in de poeder, was ik een sigaret aan het roken, stond er drank op tafel en vulde [\u2026]\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.brianvanleeuwen.com\/en\/ik-zocht-afleiding-na-afleiding\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Brian van Leeuwen\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2024-04-06T11:13:47+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2024-04-12T18:03:53+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/www.brianvanleeuwen.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/436356285_7599869983410972_783337312735060286_n-1.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"960\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"640\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Nick van Asperen\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Nick van Asperen\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"3 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.brianvanleeuwen.com\\\/ik-zocht-afleiding-na-afleiding\\\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.brianvanleeuwen.com\\\/ik-zocht-afleiding-na-afleiding\\\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Nick van Asperen\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.brianvanleeuwen.com\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/184b07ff87b766321e27af0cb93a5041\"},\"headline\":\"Ik zocht afleiding na afleiding\",\"datePublished\":\"2024-04-06T11:13:47+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2024-04-12T18:03:53+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.brianvanleeuwen.com\\\/ik-zocht-afleiding-na-afleiding\\\/\"},\"wordCount\":418,\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.brianvanleeuwen.com\\\/ik-zocht-afleiding-na-afleiding\\\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.brianvanleeuwen.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/436356285_7599869983410972_783337312735060286_n-1.jpg\",\"articleSection\":[\"Blog\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.brianvanleeuwen.com\\\/ik-zocht-afleiding-na-afleiding\\\/\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.brianvanleeuwen.com\\\/ik-zocht-afleiding-na-afleiding\\\/\",\"name\":\"Ik zocht afleiding na afleiding - Brian van Leeuwen\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.brianvanleeuwen.com\\\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.brianvanleeuwen.com\\\/ik-zocht-afleiding-na-afleiding\\\/#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.brianvanleeuwen.com\\\/ik-zocht-afleiding-na-afleiding\\\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.brianvanleeuwen.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/436356285_7599869983410972_783337312735060286_n-1.jpg\",\"datePublished\":\"2024-04-06T11:13:47+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2024-04-12T18:03:53+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.brianvanleeuwen.com\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/184b07ff87b766321e27af0cb93a5041\"},\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.brianvanleeuwen.com\\\/ik-zocht-afleiding-na-afleiding\\\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/www.brianvanleeuwen.com\\\/ik-zocht-afleiding-na-afleiding\\\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.brianvanleeuwen.com\\\/ik-zocht-afleiding-na-afleiding\\\/#primaryimage\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.brianvanleeuwen.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/436356285_7599869983410972_783337312735060286_n-1.jpg\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.brianvanleeuwen.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/436356285_7599869983410972_783337312735060286_n-1.jpg\",\"width\":960,\"height\":640},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.brianvanleeuwen.com\\\/ik-zocht-afleiding-na-afleiding\\\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.brianvanleeuwen.com\\\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"Ik zocht afleiding na afleiding\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.brianvanleeuwen.com\\\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.brianvanleeuwen.com\\\/\",\"name\":\"Brian van Leeuwen\",\"description\":\"Samen cre\u00ebren we de hemel op aarde\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.brianvanleeuwen.com\\\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":{\"@type\":\"PropertyValueSpecification\",\"valueRequired\":true,\"valueName\":\"search_term_string\"}}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.brianvanleeuwen.com\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/184b07ff87b766321e27af0cb93a5041\",\"name\":\"Nick van Asperen\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.brianvanleeuwen.com\\\/en\\\/author\\\/nickvanasperen\\\/\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Ik zocht afleiding na afleiding - Brian van Leeuwen","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.brianvanleeuwen.com\/en\/ik-zocht-afleiding-na-afleiding\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Ik zocht afleiding na afleiding - Brian van Leeuwen","og_description":"Nog geen uur later zat ik met mijn neus in de poeder, was ik een sigaret aan het roken, stond er drank op tafel en vulde [\u2026]","og_url":"https:\/\/www.brianvanleeuwen.com\/en\/ik-zocht-afleiding-na-afleiding\/","og_site_name":"Brian van Leeuwen","article_published_time":"2024-04-06T11:13:47+00:00","article_modified_time":"2024-04-12T18:03:53+00:00","og_image":[{"width":960,"height":640,"url":"https:\/\/www.brianvanleeuwen.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/436356285_7599869983410972_783337312735060286_n-1.jpg","type":"image\/jpeg"}],"author":"Nick van Asperen","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"Nick van Asperen","Est. reading time":"3 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"Article","@id":"https:\/\/www.brianvanleeuwen.com\/ik-zocht-afleiding-na-afleiding\/#article","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.brianvanleeuwen.com\/ik-zocht-afleiding-na-afleiding\/"},"author":{"name":"Nick van Asperen","@id":"https:\/\/www.brianvanleeuwen.com\/#\/schema\/person\/184b07ff87b766321e27af0cb93a5041"},"headline":"Ik zocht afleiding na afleiding","datePublished":"2024-04-06T11:13:47+00:00","dateModified":"2024-04-12T18:03:53+00:00","mainEntityOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.brianvanleeuwen.com\/ik-zocht-afleiding-na-afleiding\/"},"wordCount":418,"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.brianvanleeuwen.com\/ik-zocht-afleiding-na-afleiding\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/www.brianvanleeuwen.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/436356285_7599869983410972_783337312735060286_n-1.jpg","articleSection":["Blog"],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.brianvanleeuwen.com\/ik-zocht-afleiding-na-afleiding\/","url":"https:\/\/www.brianvanleeuwen.com\/ik-zocht-afleiding-na-afleiding\/","name":"Ik zocht afleiding na afleiding - Brian van Leeuwen","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.brianvanleeuwen.com\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.brianvanleeuwen.com\/ik-zocht-afleiding-na-afleiding\/#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.brianvanleeuwen.com\/ik-zocht-afleiding-na-afleiding\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/www.brianvanleeuwen.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/436356285_7599869983410972_783337312735060286_n-1.jpg","datePublished":"2024-04-06T11:13:47+00:00","dateModified":"2024-04-12T18:03:53+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.brianvanleeuwen.com\/#\/schema\/person\/184b07ff87b766321e27af0cb93a5041"},"breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.brianvanleeuwen.com\/ik-zocht-afleiding-na-afleiding\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.brianvanleeuwen.com\/ik-zocht-afleiding-na-afleiding\/"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.brianvanleeuwen.com\/ik-zocht-afleiding-na-afleiding\/#primaryimage","url":"https:\/\/www.brianvanleeuwen.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/436356285_7599869983410972_783337312735060286_n-1.jpg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/www.brianvanleeuwen.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/436356285_7599869983410972_783337312735060286_n-1.jpg","width":960,"height":640},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.brianvanleeuwen.com\/ik-zocht-afleiding-na-afleiding\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.brianvanleeuwen.com\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Ik zocht afleiding na afleiding"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.brianvanleeuwen.com\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.brianvanleeuwen.com\/","name":"Brian van Leeuwen","description":"Together we create heaven on earth","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.brianvanleeuwen.com\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.brianvanleeuwen.com\/#\/schema\/person\/184b07ff87b766321e27af0cb93a5041","name":"Nick van Asperen","url":"https:\/\/www.brianvanleeuwen.com\/en\/author\/nickvanasperen\/"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.brianvanleeuwen.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5206","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.brianvanleeuwen.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.brianvanleeuwen.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.brianvanleeuwen.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/217"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.brianvanleeuwen.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5206"}],"version-history":[{"count":13,"href":"https:\/\/www.brianvanleeuwen.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5206\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5577,"href":"https:\/\/www.brianvanleeuwen.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5206\/revisions\/5577"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.brianvanleeuwen.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/5216"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.brianvanleeuwen.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5206"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.brianvanleeuwen.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5206"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.brianvanleeuwen.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5206"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}