{"id":1557,"date":"2022-05-28T21:29:19","date_gmt":"2022-05-28T19:29:19","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.brianvanleeuwen.com\/?p=1557"},"modified":"2022-07-14T21:34:17","modified_gmt":"2022-07-14T19:34:17","slug":"ik-vond-het-moeilijk-deze-keuze-te-maken","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.brianvanleeuwen.com\/en\/ik-vond-het-moeilijk-deze-keuze-te-maken\/","title":{"rendered":"I found it difficult to make this choice"},"content":{"rendered":"

Last week my agenda was actually full of appointments, transformational healing sessions and finally the workshop Release your Emotions that was supposed to be today. Yet it went differently\u2026<\/p>\n

Suddenly there was the opportunity to go to the South of France for a week. Esther got the chance to lead the women's retreat at Terra Nova. I felt that I was allowed to go to Cathar country.<\/p>\n

But what then with such a full agenda? What to do with the clients and the participants of the workshop? And what then with the money that I \u201cmiss\u201d in that? Normally enough reasons not to go to the South of France and to stay (safely) in my own environment. Something that I would normally always do. And something that would have been an easy and safe choice.<\/p>\n

\"IkOnly NOW I decided that things could be different<\/h2>\n

I felt that I could get myself out of that safe pattern. For someone who constantly says that she wants to travel, this was an opportunity that I could take. For someone else a normal week away, for me this was a much deeper process. Especially because it also meant that I would be on Terra Nova again for a while.<\/p>\n

The night before the choice to go would come, my spirit guide Jean appeared before my image. He showed an image of him tapping his watch. Message.. It's time to go on a trip. To which I immediately thought: how? I can't afford that now? Have you seen the crypto market now? So I let it go pretty quickly. Until the next morning Esther could suddenly go to Terra Nova.<\/p>\n

I knew what I had to do\u2026 so I decided to go. To move my appointments and to move the workshop until further notice. Difficult, challenging, it touched on everything, but so clearly the intention.<\/p>\n

And as always it was so right\u2026<\/h2>\n

The whole week I was full of emotions. Am I who I always thought I \u201cshould and should\u201d be? Am I really doing what my heart desires now? It is painful to have to answer those answers with no, at least partly. I have been able to embrace a lot of sadness the last week, but also to forgive.<\/p>\n

Going back to Terra Nova also released a lot in me, but I am so grateful and it felt so good to be back with\u00a0Robert Bridgeman<\/span><\/a>\u00a0to connect. I am reminded of what this place has meant to me and how I have missed the man who has mentored me so beautifully. How I have missed the place where I was born again. Which has been so life-changing.<\/p>\n

I have encountered many painful parts in this since I have been back in the Netherlands. I have also experienced how much judgment I had and how hurt I have actually been. The theme of \u201cnot being seen\u201d was on top of it, but in the end you can only not see yourself. And if that is your reality. How can you expect others to see that? And how can you expect that you do not have projections?<\/p>\n

By going back to Terra Nova and Cathar country I feel that I have faced my pain, sorrow and fears. That karma has been given up. That air and space have been created.<\/p>\n

And above all, that it was so right to make the choice to go to the South of France. The processes that have been opened here are special and of course super confusing, but so welcome.<\/p>\n

I even had two sessions with Dr. Fritz on addiction and deep sorrow. Which makes me feel tired, emotional, empty, but satisfied and with a feeling that it is right. And that it is right.<\/p>\n

One thing is for sure. A lot is going to change. My inner world is turned upside down, but it's okay. It's right. Let the true ME emerge.<\/p>\n

It is time. I will take it easy for the time being, so that there is room for the new to unfold.
\nLove from the car back to NL. Follow your heart, because your heart tells you exactly what is needed and what may arise\"\ud83e\udd0d\"<\/span><\/p>\n

Brian<\/p>\n

Go back to all blogs here<\/em><\/strong><\/a><\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Last week my agenda was actually full of appointments, transformational healing sessions and finally the workshop Release your Emotions that was supposed to be today. Yet [\u2026]<\/span><\/p>","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":1558,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1557","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-blog"],"yoast_head":"\nIk vond het moeilijk deze keuze te maken - Brian van Leeuwen<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Afgelopen week stond mijn agenda eigenlijk vol met afspraken, transformational healing sessies en tot slot de workshop Release your Emotions die eigenlijk vandaag zou zijn. 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