For years I indulged myself, or better I should say “deprived” myself, with alcohol and drug use. I went to festival after festival. I lost myself in relationships. I got jealous. I started manipulating and lying. I lost everyone..
Where it started with a "normal" drink, cocaine was soon involved. And where I said that I would never use GHB, because that was really for junkies... I also lost myself to GHB use in my mid-twenties.
I lost myself to drugs. And when I had a good period I lost myself in working so hard not to have to "feel".
Almost ten years of escapism passed and I almost lost myself. No psychologist or psychiatrist could help me and I didn't dare to go to an addiction clinic. I was too ashamed of myself for that.
I had no idea how to get out, but I managed.
After a near car accident while on GHB I decided that things had to change. After all, I could have died. Worse yet… others could have died…
So I decided that things had to be different. And then… then the universe started working for me.
Spirituality came my way. I decided to go on a transformation retreat. I decided to work on myself. I took a transformation coach and not much later I moved to the South of France where I was allowed to work in depth on my own transformation process for 15 months.
I came into contact with spiritual teachers, I listened to podcast after podcast of Giel and many others. I fell in love with life. Even though all that “transforming” was sometimes very uncomfortable and painful. I felt that I was starting to live again. And the deeper I came home to myself, the more gifts the universe started to give me.
In the meantime, three years have passed. I travel the world. I have, I think I can now say, a successful practice, I give workshops, I am on stage and I am allowed to inspire more and more young people and (young) adults. I am grateful for life. I am writing this from a coffee shop in Old Jaffa in Israel and right now someone is smoking a joint next to me in that shop. How funny can it be, but no, I don't need to get high on drugs anymore, I am getting more and more high on life.
And perhaps the most beautiful thing I am grateful for right now is the following…
Early December my first book "It could have ended differently" was published. It is a compelling and intense story in which I write extensively about the depth of transformation and the emptiness of addiction. Where I also provide tools to get started with 21 transformation methods in addition to the story.
Curious? Get your copy here.
Love,
Brian