If I could do what I wanted to do, I would play. I would scream. I would let myself go completely. Let out all my pent-up emotions. I would cry, laugh, scream and shout. I would have fun. Live my life to the fullest. Not take everything so seriously. Long live the fun. I would tell people how it is. Not let myself be pushed away anymore. Not by anyone.
I would be pure in everything I feel. I would not do anything I did not like. I would jump in the puddles. Run through the forest. Hopping. Play with the animals. Play with the elves. I would also be afraid, but that is okay. I would be in love with life. Be in the moment.
I would be an astronaut again. I would fly around the world. I would spend all day with animals. I would travel through the stars. From planet to planet. I would go and discover. Not think too much, but just do and experience.
I would heal and make sure that I am allowed to be there. To be there completely. I would open myself completely. Let myself be heard. I would also be a bit rebellious, but also shy sometimes. I would cry for my mother, because I often feel alone. Scream for attention. Maybe even beg, because I need attention. I want to heal, so that we can play together. I would go on a journey. Are you coming?
I would eat ice cream. Licking lollipops. Eating until I drop. Building sand castles. Building huts. Swimming in rivers and ponds. Playing around. I would dream. Daydream. Admiring the rainbows and walking on them and then sliding down them. I would enjoy the rain. Enjoy the storm. Enjoy the sun. Enjoy all the seasons. Summer, fall, winter and spring. I would put the Easter branch in the house again.
I would like to see love in everything, but first you must see me. Do you see me?
When was the last time you were truly connected to me? When was I really allowed to make myself heard? I am always here. I have never been away. Now finally see me for who I really am. Feel me. Untamed, pure, free and happy, but also angry, alone, scared and sad.
It doesn't have to be hard. I just want to connect with you. I just want to be together again. Really be together. That's all I want.